


This Is My Jam

by RonniRotten



Series: Sandypants One-Shots (SFW) [7]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Crofter's Organic Spread (Sanders Sides), Food, Innuendo, M/M, Minor Violence, do not copy to other sites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:28:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22600993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonniRotten/pseuds/RonniRotten
Summary: Remus likes Crofter's, Logan, and pissing people off.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sandypants One-Shots (SFW) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626229
Kudos: 60





	This Is My Jam

Remus was not a jelly guy, much like his brother, but Crofter’s, well that was a whole other story. When it came time for breakfast, instead of his usual ocular fluid on toast (thanks Shrek) he would occasionally dip into the not-so forbidden fruit spread. There was only one jelly he would put in his belly that wasn’t deemed “inedible” (because apparently petroleum jelly wasn’t “safe to eat” much like deodorant. But how else would he keep his mouth and butt from getting chapped?) 

He had recently been getting more and more interested in Crofter’s, seeing how it made the sexy nerd go ape shit faster than [REDACTED] So he had a heart-boner for Logan, big deal, not important. What was important was getting that fruit spread all over his body so Logan could [REDACTED] because hell knows he craved everything about that nerd.

The Duke found himself in the kitchen at around 3 in the morning. Virgil had just gotten a sandwich (not made with spiders like Remus would suggest, but not everyone was okay with cannibalism, he sure wasn’t eating calamari!) The coast was clear. No one aside from Virgil would be awake that late, they were morning people! (Yuck, all the fun happens at night, those losers!) It was the perfect opportunity to drop a Dukey infiltration.

He was pleasantly surprised when he was able to just walk up to the fridge without setting off a trap. Deceit liked to have booby (heh) traps set to spray him with perfume or soapy water. It was pretty foul to try and cramp on the Duke’s foulness like that. He couldn’t help it if he smelled like a dead fish even when he scrubbed down, that lovely oceanic mucus was a blessing and a curse! But mostly a blessing because Logan, the babe, took an interest in it and collected a sample from [REDACTED] 

Remus grinned at the memory and opened the fridge, wincing slightly at the light emitted from the contraption. That’s when he saw it. The half-full jar of Logan’s Berry Jelly stood out among the tupperware and assorted food stuffs. He wanted a taste of Logan’s Berries, jam or no jam, so he grabbed the jar instead of waking the nerd of his dreams. He cracked open the jar and inhaled the fruity scent reverently. Everything was going according to plan, until…

“Remus?”

Remus froze and turned on his feet to see Logan, in a unicorn onesie, staring at him like he had three heads (which he did not, he checked, thank you very much)

“Is that the last jar of Crofter’s?” Logan questioned.

“Maybe?” Remus responded, not entirely sure why it mattered that he was sniffing, not eating, sniffing the jam.

“If you aren’t going to eat it, put it back.”

“Why? It’s preserves, it won’t go bad.”

“It tastes better cold.”

“Just like you!” Remus cackled and shoved two fingers in the jar to scoop out some jelly. Logan’s face lost all color and his brow furrowed. Good jam and a sexy angry nerd? Could this night get any better!?

“Remus. Put. It. Back.” Logan snarled as Remus licked his fingers clean. Instead of being a total ass, Remus recapped the jar and moved to put the jar away so he could get his hands on a better snack, his eyes locked on the nerd he was trying to seduce. But…

He missed the shelf.

The jar fell to the ground as if in slow motion.

It shattered, the last remains of the jelly on the floor covered in glass. Logan was frozen, gawking at the shattered remains of the one thing that he could claim without hesitation that he loved. 

“Oopsies!” Remus shrugged, tilting his head and fluttering his lashes like a little shit. Logan’s head shot up and he glared at Remus with more anger than a white suburban mom who’s Valentino white bag got covered in lipstick. It was hot and terrifying.

“Run.”

Remus bolted from the kitchen towards the living room like an umbrella herd on a windy beach, darting past Logan with ease. He made a big oopsie!

Without much thought, only survival instincts to guide him, Remus leapt over the railing and ran up the stairs with the softest footfalls imaginable. Logan chased him up there, stomping and snarling like an enraged bull. 

Remus liked the chase, it got his blood pumping and definitely turned him on most of the time. But as he bolted past Patton’s room he wasn’t sure if he was aroused this time. When he passed Roman’s room he honestly considered apologizing because he felt icky for upsetting Logan, even on accident.

Logan was going to kill him in a non-sexy way and Remus wasn’t down for that. He did the only thing he could think to do. He slammed his whole body into Virgil’s door and pounded his fists against it, crying out in desperation.

“Sanctuary! Sanctuary! Please give me sanctua–ack!” 

Virgil opened the door after the Duke was suddenly cut off. He was not impressed by the sight of Logan holding Remus in a half nelson. 

“Uncle! uncle!” Remus shrieked, “Let me go!”

“What the hell happened? There are people trying to sleep here!” Virgil huffed and crossed his arms.

“He’s gone too far!” Logan snapped

“I _accidentally_ broke Beast Boy’s jelly!” Remus whined, “Accidentally!” 

“Conjure him some more and shut up.” Virgil retorted with his tempest tongue, “Let him go Lo.” Remus had never been more grateful to hear that voice. Logan let him go and stepped back so Remus could do his work.

With a lot more wiggling and flourish than was necessary, Remus conjured another full jar of Crofter’s in Logan’s hands.

“Now go do whatever you two were planning and do it quietly.” Virgil snarled and shut his door. 

“Whatever we were planning?” Logan asked, coming down from his rage. Remus giggled and winked at him.

“Wanna see how that jelly tastes mixed with oceanic mucus? I wouldn’t mind [REDACTED]” Logan blushed at the implications, but smirked at Remus all the same.

“It would be a worthy experiment to perform with my partner.”


End file.
